i was contemplating whether or not to post pictures of Esprimere Chalet cos i was only in FOUR of the ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE pictures Clemen took.. of which THREE are duplicate shots.. WHAT IS THIS!? hahaha. anyway, there are too many photos.. so here are those that i think are nice! (:

super nice.. i love the banner! :D

juniors with Clemen, Darryl and Jeff.. i have no idea when they took this..

one of the groups which did a forfeit for one of the indoor games..

they sang 大象 with christmas hats on..

this group too..

outdoor games.. in which i wasnt even involved.. ):

bao and clemen's group..

juniors + excos - me - yf = :(

haha i think the girls in exco were.... snoozing.. =p

our pretty juniors.. (:

what they did to me.. :( :( :(

thanks Partner, Jeff and Clemen.. i love you guys to bits!

last activity of the night..

EXCOS~!! :D

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im not gonna repeat myself.. but well, here goes.. it took me TWO HOURS to shampoo my hair FOUR TIMES and condition it THREE TIMES.. with the help of my dear ladies Taiyang, Deduan and Bao.. and by then, it should have been clean.. but no, i still found still bits of flour here and there the next day.. terrible guys!! hahahaha but i wasnt angry okay!! =p

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you can say im tired.. im so tired of everything.. work + returning home at onli 11pm every night except on Monday.. due to singing on three weekdays and cell on friday.. totally burnt out.. so much so that i fell sick last week.. had this terrible sore throat which woke me up in the middle of the night.. and then, fever the next day.. and after recovering for a few days, im now having cough.. =/

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results will be coming out next week.. i dont know what i should be expecting.. afraid of feeling numbed, just 'cause i've failed too many times.. expectations, failures, disappointments.. im scared. really scared. it's gonna determine how i fare the next two years. i don't wanna give up. but i cant help it if my heart decides to do so. :'(

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sometimes i really don't understand myself at all.. what's wrong and what's right.. what can be done and what cannot be done.. i seem to be getting myself into something that i know is wrong.. something that im not supposed to be doing at all.. i seem to be drifting away from Him again.. what again this time round? :(

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been thrown with lotsa questions recently.. the 'what if's, 'what is's and 'what not's.. suddenly feel so troubled with all the problems.. many of which i don't have solutions to.. im not sure how im gonna continue on from here.. really unsure of the next step to take..

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amidst all these.. i feel really fortunate to have people around me who are constantly nagging at me to take care of myself.. yupyup.. 我是幸福的！(: really feel very grateful.. *nods* thanks (:

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so we'll just keep on hanging here..

and you'll just be another passing figure in my life..

okay so life's been hectic! haha. seems like im living life to it's fullest.. been totally tied down by commitments that i had to go late/leave early for work! there goes my money~

went kbox on monday with a new combination of people.. not bad.. some people can really sing.. i think i need to brush up on my skills.. haha. tuesday had piano lesson in the morning, so i only reported to work at 11am! and in the evening, we had our first singing lesson for the freshies! it was still okay, i believe.. seriously, sometimes i feel very fortunate to have this bunch of excos.. especially the guys who have been putting in alot of effort into everything. i shall try my best to get my enthusiasm back and put all my heart and soul into Esprimere!

and now (Wednesday), im going off soon to meet my colleagues for more KBOX! haha. apparently, NUS High's having half day today cos the kids have been producing tremendous results in national/international competitions and exams.. the kids there are really crazy.. im supposed to go for work from 8.30am-10am.. but i've decided to stay home and forfeit the 12bucks.. haha. will be meeting CHPT4 after that cos it's rp's bday today!! wonder whether she'll be surprised to see me? after that will be singing club's stuffs as usual.. gonna see the excos like everyday till sunday!

will be off for singing club orientation chalet from friday to sunday! :D

and i think alot ppl already know that i went for SRC interview.. okay, i got into Welfare's Children's Camp Committee which was my first choice.. kinda glad though i wished i knew more of the ppl in there.. i guess it's just another stage of transition again.. and because i got into SRC, i will put EVEN MORE effort into Esprimere.. i will try my best. really..

it's just a mere two weeks before the release of results. im scared. this time, i really am. i wanna pass all. please.

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这一次 是我自己为自己下的决定
很小心 你说慢慢来别怕来不及
如果我 还有一点点不安或者迟疑
我不会 对你的反应那麽好奇

落叶啊 其实也很不愿意
其实也不想回忆 谁没等到错过了流星
我们啊 交集在这意外的假期
一定哪里见过你 一定曾经梦见你

Fly Away 无穷无尽是你深邃的眼睛
看着你 就可以让我茫茫人海里感到安定
Fly Away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻
有一个人 有一颗心 早已经默默之中在那里

这一次 问我自己都说我毫不怀疑
爱上你 终於我发现我还有勇气
唯一我 觉得遗憾的是我不够仔细
不了解 你说那一些话的用意

几乎是所有时间在想你
快乐之後是压抑 有没有过这样的呼吸
幸福啊 只要一个眼神的交集
我们拥抱着刺激 我们渴望着相遇

Fly Away 无穷无尽是你深邃的眼睛
看着你 就可以让我茫茫人海里感到安定
Fly Away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻
有一个人 有一颗心 早已经默默之中在那里

Fly Away 无穷无尽是你深邃的眼睛
看着你 就可以让我茫茫人海里感到安定
Fly Away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻
有一个人 有一颗心 早已经默默之中在那里

Fly Away 当我不顾一切无止尽追寻
是你的人 是你的心 日日夜夜陪我在这里

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我害怕我们会慢慢失去联络，
害怕我会渐渐忘记你的模样，
更害怕自己的感情会动摇... ...

finally saw my piano results slip today.. got 26 (out of 30) for first two pieces and 27 for the third piece.. which is the components which pulled my marks up.. cos.. guess wad? i failed my scales! i ACTUALLY failed my scales by ONE mark! my teacher says it's obvious that the examiner deliberately gave me a 118 so that i cant get Merit cos my scales were terrible.. sighs. overall, comments were quite encouraging.. he said i put up a promising performance and can aim for higher marks if i could improve on my supplementary components (sight reading, aural and scales).. bleah maybe he wrote that for everyone? =/ and now, i have to decide whether or not to continue with Grade 7 practical or to switch to Pop keyboard! all those reading this post, give me your opinions please!!

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没别的只想说对不起
对不起我真的爱你
不管你会怎么想你怎么说
也不会改变我的决定

你知道有时候感情事很难说
很难说爱人或朋友
从前到现在我真的感觉要
一想你我的心就发烧

想给你听我的心跳
想你知道我睡的不好
喝水想着你
搭车想着你
合眼闭眼间出现的全是你

我猜不到你的表情
我等不到你的回应
不想难为你
又不想放弃你
决定告诉你
对不起对不起我爱你

没别的只想说对不起
怎么样我都会珍惜
不管你会怎么讲你怎么做
也不会影响我的心情

你知道有时候男孩更难捉摸
难捉摸爱人或朋友
现在到永远我真会感觉要
一想你我的心就狂跳

我的模样记不记得牢
情人卡有没有收到
读书想着你
听歌想着你
大地和蓝天出现的全是你

我才不管你的表情
我才不理你回不回应
不想难为你
又不想放弃你
决定告诉你
对不起对不起我爱你

你听一听我的心跳
你看一看我睡的不好
喝水想着你
搭车想着你
合眼闭眼间出现的全是你

我猜不到你的表情
我等不到你的回应
不想难为你
又不想放弃你
决定告诉你对不起对不起我爱你

只要不知觉地想到他... 想知道他每分每秒在做什么... 这就算是喜欢了吗？

Piano exam results came out on wed.. Was having exco meeting at that time when i received a msg from my teacher.. let's just say im totally disappointed in myself.. i know alot of people have been telling me that i should be contented with my results after having skipped from grade1 to 5.. and the last time i took my exam was like 14 years ago? but the thing is that one of the things that pulled me down was my scales.. which is something i could really practise hard on.. but i lost it to myself this time round.. just simply too lazy to practise my scales.. totally disliked them right from the start.. and so i got a 118, which is like 2 marks away from 120, a merit? im not sure what are my teachers' expectations.. though it seemed like she's contented with my results cos she actually wanted me to take grade4 instead of grade5 this time round.. but! 2 marks! sighs~ ):

taking my grade5 theory soon.. though im still contemplating if i should just switch over to pop right after that.. feel that it'll be more practical for my club.. and if i wanted to challenge myself, i could probably serve in the worship ministry.. but for classical.. if im gonna learn all the way up to diploma but not teach, it's gonna be kinda wasted, i feel..

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havent been catching up on Jinglun's news after i heard that he's out.. totally sian.. dont even wanna watch the next few episodes already.. so i guess i wont be posting anymore videos.. haha. im just not the type who will wanna find out what went wrong.. so what if we discuss bout it.. the results are not within our control..

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cell last night was really an eye-opener.. lots of conflicting views from different people.. im alright with discussions.. but it got quite aggressive towards the end.. and it's not that it's not correct.. but that evoked some of my negative emotions too.. something which i wished did not happen.. i certainly did not enjoy the way opinions were brought forth.. lots of info.. and to add on, aggression.. agitated people.. it's not sthg i would enjoy.. was kinda worried throughout the whole thing.. felt kinda guilty for not speaking up.. it's not about which side im supporting.. if a bunch of people had their own individual views, and they were supporting themselves, it was still okay.. but not when they come together, combine strength and try to knock the party on the other side over.. anyway, all these are just my personal feelings.. as much as i hate to admit, i still have to.. this was how i felt last night..

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im just quite glad i didnt had, or rather, i've no reason to have, high hopes this time round.. im not even angry or sad seriously.. maybe just a little disappointed.. most importantly, i feel that the sincerity wasnt there.. cos you went back on your words.. it's just how much you value a person.. and how responsible you are for your actions and your words.. i kinda expected it to happen actually.. and im quite glad my instincts were right..

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一年了。去年去 foc 的时候，我们还有在传简讯。原本以为我会很快把一个人忘了，但却并非如此。原来我是那么重感情的一个人？ 哈哈。现在，真的要把简讯一个一个地删除掉了。也不知道为什么会一直把简讯留着。偶尔看一看，还会回想起当时的情况，对着手机笨笨地笑！你曾经让我快乐，也曾经让我不知所措。其实，你还真的蛮厉害的。哈哈。最后想说的是，你真的真的应该感到很荣幸，因为你曾经让我为你感到难过，甚至为你流泪！可以让我为他哭泣的人真的很少。哈哈。好了，就算我臭美好了！

谢谢你曾住在我心里。(:

回忆总是美好的。就在这里，为一切写下休止符吧...